all i want ...

REST
A PEACE OF MIND

8 sticks of cigarettes
countless puffs
but still... my mind is blank... my heart is aching
so many questions, so many fears
all i wanted is to be loved and be happy
all i wanted is a person who will love me and be contented of having me in his life
but damn
I don't even know if he really loves me
I always wait for his call, for his texts, for him to initiate a plan for us to see each other
I wanna be with him, to see him but there's so many excuses.. that's what i see.. EXCUSES
so many REASONS that in fact, we can compromise and MAKE A WAY
I'm not even assured if I'm the only one..
Am I being paranoid? too much afraid to trust and believe those words that I heard from someone else before
OR you're really telling the TRUTH that you love me?
How can I feel at peace, When will I feel it?