rainbow

i saw a rainbow first thing in the morning... wow... amazing.. Looking at the bright side of everything.

Well, I'm just so excited about everything. Especially now that summer is fast approaching. I want to try a lot of things like airsoft and wakeboarding. I'm enjoying badminton every weekends. Getting sporty huh! Sort of... It's really fun.. Although I don't know how to swim, I'll make sure that I have a guide. I want to go to the beach, hmmm I haven't been to boracay, galera or pagudpud. But I'll make sure that I will visit one of those places.
What else do I have in mind? I want to change fields, sort of a sideline. I want to be on events, planning and organizing things. It doesn't matter if its small or big. I want to meet a lot of people and have a new set of friends.
I want to have my own pad next year if not this year. And maybe 3 to 5 years from now,I'll have my own car. I'm really looking forward for that. But I guess it would be hard if I'll just stay here. I want to go abroad and work there to earn more, and singapore is the first step... (is this possible??) if its God's will.
And lastly, I hope 5 years from now, I'll get married. With whom? I don't know... He'll just come. These are some things that I want to happen. Of course this things won't be possible without HIM. I know HE already planned my life and there's no doubt that it will be a life of HAPPINESS.

the deeper reason of everything

I'm not feeling well. I felt like hell. My head is aching so much, and my tummy too. Maybe because I'm not eating on time. I slept around 8pm last night and I woke up after every 2 hours. Weird huh.
ANYWAY...
I was with a friend of mine yesterday and she was saddened by the news of my lovelife. I told her the story and she said... "I know it hurts but you know what, I think the real reason is HE JUST FELL OUT OF LOVE. His reasons are so lame and I think he did that on purpose so that you will feel angry and let him go. He doesn't have the guts to tell you how he really feels coz guys are afraid of confrontations. He intentionally hurt you so that you will just go away."
Ahhhuuhhh... Yeah that thing came into my senses also. Well, it was his choice. And I cannot manipulate that. But just like what I said, I'm happier now. I was wounded and the bleeding stopped already but there's a scar. Everytime I see that scar, it's a lesson for me.

sarcastic text

09157688502 "hi anjel mzta?" 21:34 21-02-2008
"ingat nlng kau dlwa ni bogz ah!:) hahaha. Godbless you!" 11:30 21-02-2008

hmmm... who is this texter? out of nowhere she/he texted me... I never reacted after the break-up, i never heard anything from him and he NEVER heard anything from me either. and the hell, who is this bitch who texted me. get a life. it was our issue and not yours, GET A LIFE!

10th monthsary

Yesterday was our monthsary (supposedly) * I know I don't have to dwell with it, but I have to as part of moving on* I was doing some paper works when I remembered the date. First thing that came in my mind " We should have been celebrating our 10th month" but then I erased it eventually. Past is past. I was able to find my journal, few days ago. And I realized that as early as September, I already felt something different in our relationship. It was the start of a drastic change,if I may say. I began to felt different with him. I began to notice his changes that made me feel sad. At one point, I felt tired but I held on. Hopeful as I can be, that maybe some day things will be alright. I didn't give up. After what happened this month, I felt relieved. I cried, I mourned but after that, I stopped. There are things that I have to accept. I'm still bitter (a bit) but this is just one stage. I am happier now. Although there are times that I miss him, I don't dwell in it anymore. Well 9 months is 9 months. Short as it may seem but for me, it was a great moment in my life. I've learned something. Someday, I might forgive him. Someday I WILL forget him. I'm opening my doors with a lot of possibilities. And I'm not closing it to anyone. But just what they say "TRUE LOVE WAITS"

what a nice morning

I was not able to sleep last night. Bigla akong nalungkot, ang tagal kong nakahiga pero hindi ako makatulog. Bigla kong naisip na, sort of boring na buhay ko. It was not like before na madaming happenings. I was able to sleep mga mignight na ata. Then I woke up exactly 4am. I heard my alarm around 3:30 siguro pero I switched it off.
So there, I was rushing for work na. Good thing may 6 minutes na grace period. I was not late. Pagdating na pagdating ko, I was not even on my desk, biglang concern agad. Eto kasing isa, magcclearance na, eh yung form daw na nakuha nya, walang accounting division sa form. Eh nasa accounting na yung clearance nya. Sabi ng kasama ko, yun daw kasi nakita nya na form na nasa folder ko at kinuha na nya assuming na yun ung kelangan kasi naka attach dun yung resignation letter ng magreresign na ito. I actually changed some part ng clearance kasi yung isang signatory dapat eh resigned na rin. But anyways eh di ayun pinalitan ko. Ang badtrip dun, nabadtrip ata yung kasama ko. I was not pertaining to her sa badtrip ko pero affected xa. Sana man lang kasi, pinagbaba muna yung gamit ko bago nagsasabi ng kung anu ano. Eh di umagang umaga, nakasimangot na ako. 1st day of shift ganun na. Hay tao nga naman minsan hindi alam tumyming. Pacenxa na sa kasama ko, alam ko you just did your part.

break up on a valentines day

Six days of silence... He doesn't want to talk to me... But i heard things from friends that he said "wala na kami" well infact when we talked last sunday, he said "oo xempre tayo pa rin"... and when i opened my email this morning... he sent me a break up letter... telling me that he's so fed up with me... He doesn't want to see me anymore coz he might hurt me physically or emotionally (accdg. to his email).. No second chances for us..
Yeah... good things have to end... GOODBYE... someday we might see each other again (I can't promise that you won't see me coz those people he is with, are my friends too, so I might have an appointment with them and we might see each other there, but you're not my purpose) Anyways, I won't forget this day... You BROKE UP with me through an email... You BROKE UP with me this valentines day... I'll never forget this. Thank you for all the memories, the bad and the good ones..
I don't deserve you...